Who's The Real Me? I Act Differently With Different Friend Groups...
On average people in the UK have 2.6 best friends, one best friend, two good friends and six to ten acquaintances.
We meet new people every day, from the taxi man taking us where we need to go or the lady you held the door open for. New people come in and out of our lives every single day, but how do we navigate who to trust and who to become friends with?
It is only natural for friends to bring out different sides of your personality, that you may have not been able to bring out yourself. Whether this is good or bad, they eventually shape the person we want to be and help us navigate as individuals the people we want to surround ourselves with.
I have had many friendships, most of these were good friendships, but I have also had my fair share of bad friendships. All have taught me things about myself and who I want to surround myself with. I have had all different types of friendships, from big friendship groups to smaller friendships, and throughout all of this, I have learnt the big friendship groups don't often last. There is usually more drama and more people to please and make happy and this is not always easy.
People often get jealous when they feel like they are being replaced in a friendship group and I have experienced just this. Without mentioning any names there was a time when this was the case in High School and by this point, my friendship circle was rather small, it was the three of us altogether and one of them I had been close with, 'besties' if you like for 1-2 years.
When this other person joined our little group things were fine for a while, but things would get a little tricky when we would still do things as a two, this was never malicious, and looking back it was all very silly ‘school-girl’ stuff, but this other person and I would not often get on and the friendship between all of us did eventually end when we started college and we went separate ways. The friendship did initially end because of jealousy, I would get jealous if they were hanging out all the time and vice versa.
Since then, I have grown and I can honestly count on one hand how many close/best friends I have. One of my long-time best friends and someone I know will forever be my best friend has been in my life since we were five years old, I tell her everything to her, I know I can be my weird quirky self around her.
We have honestly been through so much growth together, and although I don't see her regularly, whenever we do see each, it is like we have never been apart, and we catch up and enjoy spending time with each other. I now have some of the best friendships I have ever had, and although it has taken some time and a lot of learning about myself and again who I want to be my friend, I have learned to be myself.
But how do we know who the real me is?
The best thing I have learned throughout my friendships is that my personality does not define my friendships. I can still learn who I am as an individual and have different kinds of friendships and different people to who I tell different things, and this does not define who I am or who I am going to be.
Now although we learn things throughout these friendships, and they do help us grow and learn new things they will never define who we are as individuals, we can only find that through our individual personal growth. More importantly, it is good to realise that not all friendships do last, and it isn't always for any reason other than life itself.
People move away and in different directions which means you can't always see each other all the time. But friendship is not always about being together 24/7, it is also about who is there for you when you need it the most but also when you don't.
Finally, if your friends are making you unhappy and behave in a way you know is not yourself, then they are more than likely not your true friends. It is ok not to be friends with people that are making you unhappy, the key thing to having happy and successful friendships, is to simply be yourself.
If you are struggling to navigate this, then something may be wrong, or you are not fully being true to yourself.