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  • Vicky MacRae

How Spirituality is Helping Me to Navigate My 20's

I have always believed in energies. I believe that you attract the energy you put out, I believe that thoughts become things, and I firmly believe that you should never ignore your gut instinct.

I attributed this to my optimistic nature- my ineffable desire to seek the good in everything. But having embarked on a self-development journey over the last three years, I have begun to discover that it goes so much deeper than my cheery disposition. I not only believe in energetic frequencies, but I believe sensing them is an innate human quality that should be harnessed far more than it is.

When I was younger, my intuition was razor sharp and I experienced a whole host of weird, spooky and frankly wild events; from dreams playing out in real life, to knowing exactly what people were going to say before they said it, to just 'getting a feeling' about something that was about to happen. Yet since swapping the classroom for the lecture hall, I feel like I left my intuition behind with it. Enter: the year of terrible decision making. Is it really a coincidence? Or is it just my early 20's? I reckon it's all of the above.

I have come to believe that society breeds our intuition out of us in favour of material success. We are blindsided by the modern expectation that pragmatic and traditional career focussed goals are the ultimate attainment. We need to take a long hard look at ourselves when we find that we're being pushed down this idealistic model of the yellow brick road. If we don't, we're going to find ourselves dissatisfied, unfulfilled, and perhaps most worryingly- lost- when we reach the much worshipped 'Wizard' at the other side.

You might think that all of this sounds a bit dramatic. I wouldn't blame you. But I believe that every single one of us is here to bring unique gifts to this world, and it is only by finding and sharing them that we can reach our most authentic and most powerful potential. Finding that spark, and vowing to chase it, is the beginning of your spiritual awakening. Not only that, it is your roadmap to a fulfilling existence.

I have spent the better part of the past year reconnecting with this deeper part of myself. Like an old radio, I'm finding my frequency and tuning back in. My discovery was (re)sparked in the summer of 2019 after participating in a powerful breathwork session at a wellness festival. It's here that I truly felt myself let go- by unknowingly allowing my subconscious thoughts to bubble to the surface. Forgotten memories, feelings, unresolved emotions all presented themselves in a way I had never experienced before, and I just got a feeling that it was more than a therapeutic exercise.

The thing about the breath is that it acts as a bridge between the conscious and subconscious if you let it and know how to use it. It impacts every aspect of your being. This ability to connect with our two inner worlds enables us to figure out what we need out of life- and it's an innately spiritual connection.

Commanding control over my minds (conscious and subconscious) through the breath since the festival has opened up a whole new world for me. In yoga, it's helped me to handle discomfort both on and off the mat, which in turn has allowed me to meditate deeper and longer. It's expanded my capacity to focus. Creating my own 'rituals' with crystals, oracle cards and journaling around the moon cycles has proved incredibly grounding, while revealing some magical truths about my own mental and physical phases. In this state, I can visualise exactly what I need to focus more on, or equally, let go of. My mind feels so much freer, and excitingly, I am a whole lot calmer.

This newfound mental clarity has made space for a lot of much-needed growth. Undoubtedly the most significant has been surrounding my mindset: discovering and undoing mental blocks that have unknowingly rooted themselves into my identity and unearthing aspects of my past that had been reluctantly abandoned through the 'growing up' con.

Surely, this is the point? Your 20s are for messing up, learning lessons, and most importantly, finding out what it is that truly makes you happy. Especially when we live in a world where everyone "has it together", it's not difficult to become overwhelmed. Comparison is King, and the poisonous hustle mentality is EXHAUSTING. Even for the most organised and driven person in the world, there comes a breaking point. But opening the door to spirituality has allowed me to see that culture for what it is, and I've accepted it isn't for me.

I have succumbed to the ebb and flow of life much more freely, building a far healthier relationship between my mind, body and soul. I don't have the energy to spend on projects or people or even thoughts that don't light a fire in my belly. And I certainly don't have the energy to wonder why people I went to school with are doing 'so much better than me'. HOWEVER, what I do have energy for is being in alignment with my values to exist in a state of gratitude, trust, and strength. There is nothing more empowering than living authentically and wholeheartedly following your dreams, no matter how huge or insignificant they may seem.

Since opening myself back up to the magic of the universe's energy, I have an abundance of tools at my disposal to turn to when I need guidance. At last, the intuitive nudges and little signs and synchronicities have made a very welcome return. The decisions I make feel far more guided. I trust that what I seek, is seeking me. The most exciting part? I know I've hardly skimmed the surface of what's possible. Yet!

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